m0m0

her face just keep flashing in my mind every hour or so, different thoughts follow that same image.  eyes with little crow feet at the side, tanned skin with scars left behind from puberty, a face that was once radiant is now looking haggard and without zest.

there were feelings of disgust, while others have mothers that looked and felt like gold, fitting the term “forever 21″. yet mine, looking old and lifeless, aging day by day as i see the wrinkles grow deeper and more sprouted out from nowhere.

never judge a book by it’s cover.

then, this feeling of admiration, proud, that i have a mother that is working hard for me, for me to have money to spend on the latest trend, the finest delicacy. All for me, with her own hard earned money that was hardly spent on herself.

she brought me from a little child with my brother, cleaned my poop and pee, fed me food and ate left overs. cooked, washed, cleaned. none did she dare to leave out.  she suffered abuse, suffered a divorce. no, she was not the only one who suffered. we did too, me and my brother. lived in fear day after day, until mom made a selfless decision that might bring her humiliation.

she took up a job as a taxi driver, from 12 hours a day, up to 18. she became more aggressive. i felt that the feeling of closeness wasn’t there anymore. she talked about things i wasn’t interested in, scolded me when it wasn’t even my fault.

where is the mom i use to have, the one that listen, the one that plays, the one that selflessly contributed without any in return.

she thinks work is more important, and school is nowhere more tiring than work. nagged at me, go do the dishes, clean the floor, and why is your bedroom so messy? go wash ur clothes, feed the dog.

i’m tired of school, i’m gettin’ bullied mom. yet all you think is about yourself, how tired you were and how great it would be if i could do the housework.

no, i cant handle these emotional and physical stress. i cant juggle even 3 balls, how could i handle housework, school, and emotional trauma at the same time?

i felt the temptation to go ahead and stab her dead, or at least let her feel my pain and agony for once. i screamed at you, yet you just couldn’t get what i wanted to put across. every single argument, i had to give in to you. cos i love you mom, i really do.

i felt so alone after she changed, alone in a corner with my art piece, as she rambles on and on about her work and naggings. she ignored my feeling, the pride i feel. finally when i had the chance to hand her my work, only a sentence, “why only liddat? i’m sure you could do better.”

i thought it was a masterpiece and wanted to show her my joy, but yet was shooed by a cruel and insensitive reply.

momo.

where are you.

you’ve worked hard, you see me grow.  but being independent, doesn’t mean being alone. dont neglect, my feelings, dont neglect my thoughts.  i want the old momo back, who played, talked and listen, and make me feel cherished while being bullied in school.

i want the old you back. 24 hours mine, and no one elses.

if i had a choice, let me be 6 forever. i’ll give up my angmoh man. i’ll give up diving. i’ll give up everything.  let me play blocks with you, building lego houses. combing the hair of the barbie dolls, eat imagery food. and we’ll laugh, even with the simplest toys.

i’m lonely.

mom, where are you.

term 2 seriously suck

i really dont know what to say.

i’m just friggin’ tired of all these.

i’m just friggin’ messed it all up.

i really dont know what to say now.

it’s like having multiple nets casted on a single fish, and the fish cant get out.

man, i rather eat a plastic bag and die.

-_-

(period)

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 hm.

i really dont know what to say now.

no, you dont have to change place.  since i guess this mess is cleared up.  (unless you think other wise)

it takes 2 to clap, so yea, sorry too.

by the way

if you say someone is being a bitch and being self denial and think she knows everything,

arent you the person that you’re talking about too?

think about it.

well, if you dont call that scolding, what the tootsie was it?

aight, now someone is telling me to read the bible?

oh gosh. what a bad move. well not, i can really really understand why my bro decided to just go satanism instead of -insert whatever religion-.

well, i told my friend today. from TODAY ONWARDS, well, i’m going to PLAY together with the devil ( but that doesn’t mean i trust it. if you say that i do, then what, i trust jodie cos we crap so much? rubbish. use ur blain!).

i’m not stereotyping. well, if you flared up to me today, then you ask -whoever ur god(s) is – for forgiveness, then does that mean you dont have ta apologise to me? rubbish. come on, this is purely WEIRD.

aight, so you said you cant sit with someone who:

•  says “can you stop clicking ur pen?”
• says ” can you move?”
• or simply ask “who’s book is this?” twice, although the second time was in a partially pissed off tone cos the person was obviously pissed for being ignored the first time.

well, then you think i could:

• sit with someone  who clicks pen when i’m trying to concentrate. ELIZEBETH SAYS, clicking pen is irritating when uh. when im trying to concentrate.. yeah. LXY SAYS, clicking pen over and over again is irritating. so i’m not the abnormal one. it’s just you being insensitive to other people’s need cos you don wanna study during chinese and i want to. get this right.
• sit with someone who lies OVER to my table, elbow passing my table, paper and books over to my table. i tell this to everyone.
• sits and lies to the left, and hair is tickling my hand. well, i’m already kind enough not to cut ur damn strand of hair off or ask you to pin it up.
• only teaches me when teachers ask to.
• looks over my notes to copy and decides to be selfish and not let me copy hers. -_-
• have her chair over to my side, therefore i have to seat slanted.
• doesn’tknow how to take hints
• self centered cos she think she’s the only one who could have attitude.

i’m already very nice and neutral about the situation that i’ve been very unlucky in to be placed next to her.

all i said (or requested) was just said in a neutral tone ( if it sounds really mean, my bad). i did not:

• scream at her like what i did to lun xinyi
• smacked her like what i did to eileen (ps la!)
• scolded her like what i did to jodie
• scolded like what i did to people who kick my chair.

but she chose to flare up at me, and though i dint retaliate, it simply doesnt mean you could tell the whole world WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME and me being sensitive blahblah. well, since you can do the same, why i cant i tell other people that you scolded me since it’s MY OPINION and you said YOURS ALREADY.

anyway, dont try to ask me to read the bible. it was never about religion in the first place.

it’s about the people that irks me. religion doesnt really help dont they?

i wanted to be a Christian before, just before i knew some who simply turns me off. joceyln brought me to church, i was amazed how friendly and helpful these people are.

and then, in this school. wow, quite a number are christians. but how many bullied people before?

i wanted to just grab you @ your collar and shake you till you snap, or probably punch you dead.  but i chose not to. why? i’m nice. i dont go around flaring up (100%. ok, i flare up, but i will somehow make it up to the person later) and scolding people cos i felt like it or simply cos i nid something to vent my anger on. idk.

anw, you said since i’m not happy, i’ll change my seat.

i did that, and why must you start the issue all over again? it’s just plain STUPID! and i thought you were smart. i was simply giving in to you and move out, since moving out will:

•  make you happy since you suggested it.and also since you cant stand to sit with someone like me.
• make me happy cos i wont have to face anyone’s attitude.

but anyway, it’s all about opinions. so you dont have to come my blog and teach me what to do.

cos it’s my blog. and my territory. go into a lions den, there goes you.

even if you hate me so damn much.

please. do give me the basic respect and not make me sound like a dog by just flaring up for trivial stuffs.

i dont have to listen to you. but i’m just giving way, thinking ignorance beings about peace.

but hell no.

many people told me to throw your damn book on the ground or the rubbish bin, even ur primary 1 best friend told me to do that. but i insisted on hinting you, thus you will get the idea that i dont like people placing book on my chair ( but i really dont get it. your chair is free cos you’re standing up, it’s recess, and your table and chair is free. why place it on mine? it’s like treating the whole bench is yours right?

that chair belongs to me ( as in, mine to sit and use for that period of time).

and anyway, you took my eraser without asking me for permission. did my mom buy that for you to use it? did i say you could take anything you want from my table? did i nod? you simply snatched it off without saying anything, thinking it’s yours or something.

do give my respect. and my things too. use it already, dont put it on your table. it’s mine. place it nicely in the pencil box. a 3 seconds thing. isit so hard to manage?

damn.

thoughts of murder (1)

victim: CHICKEN PEOPLE, 16-ers
Time: 0745 – 0900
REASON: BIRD FLU

CHicken 1: ey, i heard at XXX went out with a guy leh!
CHICKEN 2: ya lor ya lorh, somemore hold hands wor!!!
CHICKEN 3, POKHAY! rly meh? i thought she went out with a girl wor, like butch (PORKHEY) de wor!
CHICKEN2: rly meh? the person shortshort hair de lorh, butch also not so short lurr, butch hair so nice de lorh!
CHICKEN 3: really!!! dont believe then dont believe lorh. your loss what.
CHICKEN 1: LOL, kaus, next time take picture la, then can show more people.
CHICKEN 4: lol, don nid la, just go her blog then can check liao ma! sure got some clues one. and somemore her friendsters got the bf the picture leh!!! omg lorh! she actually got bf liao wor!
CHICKEN 2: really ar? i wan see i wan see!
CHICKEN 3: too bad lurh, you betrat her b4, and only FRIENDS on friendster can see her profile wor, too bad lurh..
CHICKEN 2: HAR, lend me your profile leh!!! pleasepleaseplease.

murderer: CHICKEN 2, you wan be my friend right??
CHICKEN 2: har? i not ur friend meh??? (sheepisih Smile).
murderer: -smiles-
CHICKEN 2: ey, don smile liddat la, veh scary leh!
murderer: ok, -POKHAY!- hahaha.. finally i get to stab ur back back!!!! and YOU
CHICKEN 1 3 4: -POKHAY- nono, we nv do anything, we.. -POKHAY- scolding her only.. serious.
murderer: ok, go heaven and scold her more!!! -POKHAY!!!!!!!!- -PORKHAYYY!!!! x2-

murderer: you CHICKENS talk too much. later got bird flu humans die. better you all die first!! MUAHAHAHAHA

ok, i’m so evil. ^^

tomorrow

tomorrow will be the second day sitting with my new table people.

to say the truth, i’m still not used to it.

although the environment before was kindof irritating to me, at least it was friendly, and people i could crap to.  now, it’s a lot different.  i dont really find the use of talking to them, or asking them anything, cos all they give me is either to ignore me or to -blank- and think i’m not talking to them at all.

yea, it’s going to help me with my studies, cos ha, at least i wont be talking to people like jodie and get scolded for making so much noise. but hey, you don have ta put me somewhere like this at least? spare a though for me man.

anw, i think that last paragraph i’m not talking to anyone, cos no one put me there. blame me, having too little friends.

and yes, the topic comes up again. friends. (ok, i’m going to get emo timo gemo. u can leave now if ya want to).

i just don find the use of having like, many friends, but yet, i feel uncomfortable when i’m put into a situation where ihave to be with people who either i hate , or they hate me. it just feels terrible.  something like, group work. yea, call me uncoorperative, but i just cannot like, contribute an idea and get laughed at, something i always kena not only last time, but even now.

i dont find the point of doing group work anyway, like for english. it’s just plain useless. unless copying homework, then i aint got anything to say.

friends betray every now and then, but i cannot withstand the feeling of being betrayed and stuffs. i cant even handle critisms la. like, whoah, to me, betraying is like, a thousand machine guns pointed at me and shooting one whole round at the same time (minced meat, anyone?).

ha, maybe i do suffer from inferior complexity.

i really dont know what i want.

except an angmoh boyfriend, and a zoologist job @ the zoo in australia.

*!@#$%^&*

you’re right! i’m SICK!

rubbish. but good la, it’s my first time getting sick in term 2 (this year) only what. haha, i istill remember i spend almost 10-20% of school time lying at home, eating colourful pills and the most dreaded cough mixture *urgh! blargh*.

gosh. my inspiration decided to desert me at this time.

fuck.

Why make hell in the first place.

Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?

we recite the pledge everyday, school pledge (ok, i dont. cos me and my junior thinks if we don agree with it, just dont say it). and then, there’s a line, “as fellow students, we will be sisters to one another” And then, those who believe in God, (i think, not very sure) aren’t you supposed to treat any other people as your brothers and sisters since you are all God’s child.

Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?

Why make hell for someone in the first place. Sometimes, i do wonder whether religions does any good.

Religions are supposed to impart us good moral values and for the most of us, the bloody purpose of life.  When so many people are pledging their faith to their gods/God, the next minute, they go against that.

This is one of the main reasons for not having a religion.

Does confessing and asking for forgiveness means you could forget it and continue the whole cycle again?  Does it mean you could go do bad things and then come back, ask for forgiveness and forget about the whole issue?!

This is life, and i doubt it will ever be that simple.

The worst crime is nothing else, but stealing. -The Kite Runner

i think it’s kindof true.

Stealing of other people’s happiniess/pride/dignity.

i cannot but to agree with you that, yes, you have made my life hell. but not only you, but ur clique in class as well. Stole my pride and dignity by laughing at me, the humiliating picture (to that anon, i knew it was me, cos alot of people said it looked like me. i’m not the only one to pass that statement that it was a portrait of me), giving me weird looks, gossiping.

but i find no use in forgiving you because,

A woman can forgive, but never forget.

ninety nine views.

wow. from 39 as the best views in a day, to 51, then to 91.

i wonder what is the reason for this sudden increase in the number of readers.

wooh.

gossip again?

gosh, i’m tad bored of that. *grrr*

anyway, yeap, yesterday i went to nsrcc to cycle with my junior. twenty kilometers of fun, stupid things, shock-as-we-almost fell, speeding, almost-crashing-into-small-stupid-kids and leaf dodging.

haha, jw’s bike is damn cool though. one cycle(as in you step the pedal left and right once) you wan go damn far. and i realised the bike was worth around 800-1000 bucks. wow. i’m actually riding a valuable. HAHA.

i had trouble starting the bike. cos the seat’s like so high?! or maybe i should say, my seat was always low, so when i break, i wont like, cant reach the ground, then what happens is that, i brake, stop for a sec, then topple over. HAHA.

after that, we wanted to go east coast park. but the weather decided to trick us by giving a couple of thunders but no rain. so we just rotted all the way from 2+ to 4.

almost went to karaoke, but haha, i managed to wriggle myself out of it. embarrassing la. siao. AHAHA, also dont know her parents well. HAHA, but they’re nice folks (and jw, stop going against your mother lA!).

got a fucking ugly tan, but it’s of a nice shade. ugly cos i was wearing tshirt ya know, and then, you know la, the tan is very uneven. ha, and we didnt put sunblock, so it’s kindof a burn. zzz. but the tan is gone by now. i dont know why. even if i turn like, tan, it simply goes off after a few days lorh! so irritating.

when i went home, the skin is like BURNING LA! so i just put aloe Vera gel, banana boat brand. ha, i heck la, just put alotalotalot of it. cos i had a bad experience of sunburn after my diving trip. worst sunburn ever. that time you could just press slighty on the skin, and there’s a MARK THAT SINKS DOWN LA! like whoa, damn shocks. i submerged myself ino aloevera gel for the nxt coupld of days. then i start peeling like a snake. it doesnt drop of in flakes. it can be literally peeled of and it’s a VERY BIG PIEcE! and the skin underneath is like, RED LA. and when i sweat, it forms little bubbles that pops under the slightest touch, and sweat ooze out of it. *eww* scary babe.

anyway, i dont know who took down the picture from the class blog. and whoever it is, i thank you aight? haha.

and that “DEBRA” and apologised to me, i dont know who you are, but i doubt you’re the supposed person to apologise? whoever did that, stop it ya? it’s damn childish to use other people’s name. at least come up with like, imawhore, yousuck, youasshole. dont drag other people in cos you like to.

homework time~ *sighs*

i dont care, i’m going to watch bleach.

鸡婆

i’m seriously tired of these kind of people who visit my blog.

yea, 鸡婆.

find this to gossip, find thing to scold.

they just do not understand the fact that, these are personal opinions and are not for you to gossip about this particular person or whatever.

i bet you guys know about the artistic drawing of me by someone, CLICK HERE, you’ll know who when you read the post. yet when i was complaining in school, someone chose to be so insensitive and was so fucking eager to read it so she could spread more rumours about me later. wow. powderful sial.

dont think that i’ve forgotten what happened in sec one. just cos i had fucking short hair, you had to spread to the whole school, not level, WHOLE SCHOOL that i was a lesbian. no i wasnt. and anyway, who would think a 13 year old is think about relationships and sexual orientation like you? i’m not that fucking lame. i think you must be the one instead.

to make thigns worst, the physical abuse came in. you,

• told people to kick me.
• told people to siam me like a plague
• made me lose all my friends, eg yongmei, keeyuen, and alot more.
  
• made my secondary life miserable
• kicked me
• poured water on my chair
• kick me more
• throw rubbish @ my table
• spread more rumours, that i’m a lesbian. *seirously, i think you’re like waiting for me to confess i’m a lesbian so that you could woo me. wow. but anw, i’m 100000% straight)
• spread rumour that i have a bf. like wtf, that’s my REAL bro can. i don take pics with any other guys ok. i’m a pure clean and straight soul.

i dont know what your mind is thinking about, cheating of your friend’s money three years ago, and not willing to admit it. all because you’re cheapskate and wanted ur wallet to cost only a few bucks while ur friend’s is ten over dollars. i bet people out there are utterly disappointed with you.

i will decide not to name this particular person, let her think, and if possible just repent or something.

JC, POly, it wont be as easy when there are guys around. i’m in a mixed school in pri school, it may be different, but having boys around is damn different.

however, if you decide to continue to be so insensitive, i cant help it. and stop sticking to that particular person you’re sticking to now. it doesnt help you get another friend.

but anyway, it’s not my problem.

ohwell, anyway, i was having this msn convo with michelle TANG, and we came to a conclusion that i found that it’s very true,

it’s impossible to trust a person in school. everyone seems to be wearing a different set of mask while facing different people. you just dont know who to trust, and who not to.

for ma lah, i think that, it’s best not to trust anyone but urself, and of course your best friend.

give you guys a tip. before you spill any secret, you could

• ask ur friend to say hers first,
• fake one that is very very siao but sounds realistic, and see whether the next few days the people will know anot. cos if they know, it means that this best friend you have is just a piece of shit, and nothing else. just sitting there decomposing and smelling like. *phew*

haha, i’ve learnt alot. i wont say i regret coming to st nicholas. cos the life i have here is not totally smooth sailing, like bimbos having cliques and bitching anyway. i’m just, being bullied everytime, be it physical and mentally. i even got confronted by a girl (shall not name her too) for taking pics of a fucking disgusting looking bastard born out of a female dog by the ass.seriously, why would i wanna take pics of him, when he is dark, and i wan someone angmohish white.

this three years, i’m happy. althought i met some bastards (wait, bitches should be the correct term hor.. ) , but it taught me how to recognise a person that is really sincere about being your friend.

and i’m glad that i have these few people in my life (although younger than me). but ha, they make everyday of mine, a smiley day.

a day of soccer, washes the blue, as i see siwen, trying to act cool.

xD

aight, i’m off to bed. cycling with my junior tomorrow.

nights. BIMBOS.

two down. more to go.

you see it dont you!!!

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.

now ya dont :D

ps. i love my bro

p/p/s. cos he bought me a crumpler

p/p/p/s. but i bet i’m going to quarrel with him tomorrow. we nv get tired of that.

reading too much.

you quarrel with your classmate, then suddenly she blurts out,

“I HATE YOU”.

are you going to cry and get emo over it? or perhaps you’re going to complain to teacher? or MAYBe, slap her right at that damned spot.

you meet a guy @ a pub, then he says,

“you’re so beautiful. I LOVE YOU”.

will you say i love you back and be his gf? or watch porn over at his house and get pregnant? or MAYBE slap him and kick his nuts before running off.

hmm, i will just ignore it/take it like a casual comment/statement.

i mean, how long/how much do you know of the person to take such statement too seriously. seriously, be smarter abit.

lemme ask you. if someone sent you a mass email, (and obviously one that is types out so formal that you know it isnt directed to you), would you think it’s even directed to you?

hell no!

like, dots (..)

seriously. life is not literature, asking you to read so damn deeply into what people say.

what is said is usually superficial and hardly has deep meanings within the words.

what is unsaid is the true thing that you have to think about.

think about it. period.

I LOVE MY HOROSCOPE. :D

I AM A PISCES!!!
She listens to the ocean, and it tells her things.
the ocean is really a very peculiar thing. it sings a song that is so soothing you’ll never get tired of it even you sit by the sea for hours and hours, listening to the waves and watching the glittering water under the sun. it’s just so ~ahhhh~

By the time he’s old enough to crawl into the jam pot and hide, this strange child of yours will show a preference for living in a world of fancy. He’ll enjoy diversions that are far removed from everyday patterns and routines.
as i said, i hate rules, i hate plans. live the day as it is aight?!?!?!

You’ll mumble a polite rejoiner-now where on earth is his green sweater? Oh, there it is-on the teddy bear he dressed up yesterday, when he was pretending it was his best friend.
haha, yea, i used to have teddibears as my bestfriends and i talk to them last time before i sleep and caress them when i wake up.

Schedules and routines are his natural enemies, and he’ll do everything in his fertile imagination to avoid them.
RAHHH!!!! YUP!

He’ll seldom throw tantrums, scream or balk to get you to come around to his way, but he’ll gradually win you over by evasive, elusive tactics, and confuse you into Capitulation.
now you know. i’m a very persuasive person. lawls.

He’ll have to be noticed and encouraged, because he’s uncertain about his abilities
heh. nothing to say.

Hell also re­quire his moments of privacy. When he goes into one of his mysterious moods of withdrawal, let him be.
so stop bothering me when i’m feeling down aight? irritating pok! don ask me if i’m ok. i’m just -blank-.

Teachers are always confused when they try to put this odd-shaped peg into a round or square educational hole. He may not fit into either. You’ll probably have heaps of struggles between his unique methods of learning and the school’s stale routines. Hell simply refuse to conform to a pattern not his own.
MISS QUEK READ!!!

Neptunians may find math hard to understand at first, but they’ll have an uncanny grasp of the abstract theories behind algebra and geometry later on.
THIS ONE ALSO

Pisces children follow their own rules.
STOP BOTHERING ME WITH RULES LA!

Even’ at a tender age, they have a deep wisdom and sympathetic understanding of situations over their heads.
i am Confucius. listen to my wisdom and you shall be fine.

His young mind swims in fluid imagination which whispers a thousand secrets, so utterly delightful and filled with such sheer beauty he can’t help trying to make them live in the cold, real world.
:D

The Piscean child hears songs of the sea he can never describe.
THE SEA IS BEEEAUTIIFUL.

Don’t steal his key. He needs to slip over there now and then, to refresh himself with the true wisdom of the Red Queen and the White Knight. Then he can better cope with the real world of war, poverty, disease, hypocritical ethics and ingratitude.
i learn from myself. yea, true. no one can teach me what i am. no one can ask me to change.i dont. i adapt and learn.

Guide him tenderly, wisely, and when he’s tall enough, he may someday suddenly reach out and catch one of his silver stars to bring home to you. Then you’ll be glad you didn’t laugh at his dreams.
ya lorh! i become singer then you know ar.

You never know what’s going on inside those dreamy Neptune heads.
PORN!!! hahaha, jokingjoking. hmm, yea, dreamy.

He’ll work with a terrific sense of duty if he’s happy with his job. When he’s not happy, he withdraws. Only his body is there. Eventually it will also disappear, leaving only the memory of his grin and his wise eyes. It’s not easy to keep this slippery employee peaceful. When the water gets stagnant, he swims away before you have a chance to filter the pool, and that can be frustrating. If he would be more open about his true desires, compromise might be reached, but too often the fish chooses abrupt change to long, honest discussion that might turn things rightside up again.
i give up table tennis. i play to keep my body healthy.

He’s indifferent to most limiting restrictions, if they don’t rob him of his freedom to dream and feel his way through life.
FREEDOM!!! DREAM!!! NOTHING ELSE!!! GAHHHH

to arouse the fish to a display of temper is rather like tossmg a pebble into a clear, mirror-smooth lake, You’ll create some ripples, but the surface will soon be calm again.
i still dont understand why i don stay mad at jodie for long… hmmm…

The two fish in reversed directions symbolize the choice given Pisces: to swim to the top-or to swim to the bottom and never quite reach his goals.
quote from a movie: “either be the first, or the last.” take the extreme. that’s the wa to get attention. :D omg, i’m so AA.

Pisces friends are a bit of a puzzle at times, not to mention being outright kooky odd balls on occasion.
kooky odd balls….

Chances are he spends most of his excess energy (and he doesn’t have too much to spare) helping relatives in trouble or taking on the burdens of friends. Their troubles can be emotional or financial, but either can be a serious drain on Piscean health, which is rarely robust to begin with.
i shouldnt be caring so much about this now i guess. learned from a mistake. it’s time to hate, forget and move on. *i wish scientists would make a mind eraser, erase off unpleasant memories.

Humor is one of their secret weapons. Pisceans grin to cover unshed tears.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA. then the unshed tears will soon dry up. :D

He judges no man-thief, murderer, addict, pervert, sinner, saint, hypocrite or liar. Greed, lust, sloth and envy will bring no critical wrath, if he’s a typical Neptunian. His understanding overflows, along with whatever practical help he’s able to offer. He senses every vice and virtue, and he knows each pitfall.
heh, of course when you anger me then i will give you labels and hate you and curse you and try to spread rumours about you or trip you.

He must live in cool green water, sometime muddy, always moving.
hello, i’m a fish. no water, i die.

http://mizian.com.ne.kr/englishwiz/library/names/zodiac/contents.htm

i think it’s like so damn true.

haha, so yea, hope you guys wont misunderstand me next time.

i’m a pisces, just accept what i am, who i am. aight? and i’m not stubborn. it’s you who is stubborn and think that you know everything. i’m not meeting trouble. the only trouble i’m meeting is you, pulling me down with weeds when i wanna move. it’s just not me aight? i move around, i explore, unlike you, staying at a comfortable place not wanted to experience REAl, REAL HARDSHIP and stand up from it. i do not need God to change me, i do not need YOU to tell me what to do. because i love my life this way. seriously, i’ve not met troubles. people i meeet, people i interact with, understand the personality of me, and they are seriously happy with it. i left because i cant stand these that are draining me. i live by my own rules, you dont have the right to rob that of me, trying to change what i am.

do respect my freedom. and it’s not only freedom and my dream. it’s about being carefree and happy WITH people around ME and also help the animals. it’s not a selfish dream. it’s a dream where i can communicate with people as well as animals, keep animals happy and healthy. it’s not MY DREAM. it’s a DREAM to make the animal’s dreams come true. FREE, WILD, HAPPY.

i work for those who are vulnerable, not those who wanna be pessimistic and unwilling to change. even animals try to break free when cornered and find was to run away, eg, biting cages, fighting etcetc. humans are already given the intellect animals dont, so just go find a way and breakfree youself.

that’s all. you’ve misunderstood me, yet standing so strong.
that’s the kind of attitude i hate most. my friends know. my classmates know.
it’s just too bad you dont. and it’s over.

k, shoo.

blogief.

wow, someone admitted it.

anyway guys, i might be changing my blog url again. HAHA, yaya, i know i love changing my blog, it’s just too much fun. hehehehehehe..

also, it is to keep unwanted visitors away. lawls.

aight, i should stop being so friendly.

GARH GET LOST.

sometimes, being friendly doesnt do the trick. people just dont know when ta stop ya know?

anyway, stop asking God to bless me. i dont believe in Him.

if i could have this fucking potion that gives me the power to rewind(yaya, fairy tale again) i’ll rewind and hope i dint meet her at all. then i wont have to worry about blogief, having myself tied down.

i’m seriously happy with what i have.

happy people beside me, talented people who teaches me tricks about beatboxing, dancing and skateboarding, my fake papa(!!!) and three besties and mommydaddybroporporcousinauntieunclenephewniece and haha, people whom i quarrel with in school and patch up 5mins later and my table tennis homos and soccer buddies, and a dozen other friends. i dont know why i need another which made me worry over. and i lvoe being home slacking, or being out doing stupid things with my bro and friends, and looking out for angmohs that could get me crazy for at least three hours.

it’s just too fun to be me!!! i’m so glad that i have loads of good karma in my previous life that i’m able to become a human now! and have a proper family, a proper school, proper house, proper laptop and PROPER FRIENDS and BUDDIES.

i dont need anything else do i?

i love the fact that although my mother don let me do alot of things, yet she allows it anyway, like beatboxing, dancing by the roadside, diving(she almost allowed me to go in may la! but there’s no more space. march also! then the fucking selamat person), skateboarding(thanks jw for the skateboard). it’s just whoah, i get to do most of the things i want and not get scolded about.

i love the fact i have a mom that gets angry with me, then nxt day bring me out for bubbletea(if you guys dint know, tat’s one of my weaknesses). and also, i love my mom side !!! cos they are soooo fun! and haha, stupid too. just sooo carefree cos there are ups and downs and we’re not always comfy sitting doing nothing.

hahaha, yea, i love ups and downs and turn arounds!

i dont need anything more right?

i love having fun, doing different things that i like. that’s why most of my friends doesnt stay, i move on. to be a bestie of mine, you’re got to be WEIRD, FUN, HAPPY and SAD OCCASIONALLY, DON SPILL ALL PROBS ON ME, and there are no such things as SECRETS cos WE BLURT EVERYTHING AND LAUGH AT IT! HAHAHA…

aight, and i shall take this chance and say all my friends (yes, friends after considering sooo long) and BESTIES

besties:
bunny
joceyln
alicia ONG

friends:
PUAH jingwen
MELBERYLY ho
DELANEY ENG
siwen(ok, i hope it’s correct)
johnathan
redhead.

aight, that’s about it.

ok, homework time. i havent finished my english yet. fuck….

“angel”?

sorry, not in my dictionary.

angels are extra.

be normal. just be human.

humans need not be angels to help. helping without thinking you’ll be the angel of someone is the best.

it’s called being not extra and just doing what you can.

it’s not a matter of being an angel or not.

angels wont earn a place in universities.

so! the moral of the story is.

I HELP PEOPLE, but i DONT CARE after that.

i really do regret.

let me start my new life from now on. as a 16 year old girl onwards.

• i will no longer visit that annoying person’s blog who blogs what i blogs (refers to post angels/monday blues). it’s darn irritating, cant you just find something else to blog about? fucking annoying. everytime i visit is to check whether that annoying one is blogging what’s on my blog. and it angers me everytime i go there.
• i will no longer care about people who thinks they have depression and go emo over the phone. i shall just “lalalala”. nothing happened right? ok.
• i wont care if people slash themselves. seriously. i cant wait for them to die. talk is nothing. why not do it?
• i will get 12 points and below for o lvls.
• studies will be first priority. computer second.
• i will grow taller and tower short people(HAHA, too bad delaney!)
• i will learn skateboarding by the end of the year.
• i will hate people more. HATE, not DISLIKE. I HATE the person who blogs what i blog. if you guys wan the url, msn me.
• i still dont like the girl who blogs what i blog. i shall coin a new word. BLOGIEF. a BLOG THIEF.

• get a bikini and turn brown.

k i’m done. english compo! HERE I COME!

angels? i dont think so.

no, there are no angels in this world.

face it. winged or not winged(wow, sounds like pad hor?), there isnt such a creature on earth (to me at least).

this is a world of hard, cruel reality. stop wishing that angels would fly around going “tng!” with thier wands and bless you or whtever, it just aint gonna happen.

“but we are made not to see them what.”

-_-

how you know you’re not made to see them. seriously. -_-”’ then why are you made to watch porn. (d’oh)

there are no rewinds in this life, nor there are any forwards for you to see what’s going to happen in the future.

just face it and live life as it is.

there’s nothing more fun that having setbacks and challenges in life. no i’m not sick. it’s just fun. :D

life is like living everyday like a new sudoku puzzle. once you find a few numbers, everything comes out. like life. get past the difficult first, the easy will follow. 

anyway, speaking of angels makes me think of cupid.

why is cupid naked ar??? -_-

free?