The past is coming back to haunt you? more like it’s coming back to haunt le la.
BB.
PFFT.
HE IS SUCH A PFFTT….
I thought by being such a tomboy and violent and vulgar and not girlish would make all e guys go away and not like me. Like seriously.
But this guy. WALAO EH!
Must I turn lesbian before he gets away from me.
Like far far far far far far away.
went drinking
got drunk
suffered a hangover
drank my coffee
the feeling will be neutral soon
why did it take so long??
cause i hold my liquor well…
Wow. I’m so amazed by their will power, their speed, their hunger for the top few positions. I feel I’ve let them down, especially T28 2nd runner, racing her way to the lead from the 3rd or 4th position. She wanted that badly, I could see how tired she was when she came back with the baton. She carried on the last 100m with the fastest pace she can manage. I took the lead, ,but not for long. I wasted her efforts, took the 3rd position.
I felt I’ve let her down.
4×400m relay is not an easy task at all. Requires a whole of of anaerobic respiration, pacing and mind power.
Kudos to this 2T28 runner. She deserved to win.
It was never my rationale to just be involved.
It’s about putting in all the effort, which obviously I didn’t. I gave in, let myself down, let everybody down.
Being involved is one thing. Putting in effort to win is another. It’s about the mindset. If you only think about being involve with no medals, I can say I’m very disappointed with you, a representative, a leader. With this mindset of yours, people around you, taking part in competitions, will adopt this mindset to. I can only say you failed as a leader.
We should have just ignored you seriously. We should have gone out there and expect medals to be presented to us. Not just involve, but giving it our best shot even if it means to kill ourselves in this race. Only if we lose, we can say there’s always next year. But this thought should have never come to our mind before the race.
Mindset. A powerful crazy thing that pushed you to your limit.
Never do that again.
Encourage for a medal, not involvment. Because when you aim for a medal, you’re already involved, and you’ve set your mind that you, will be the very very best.
After involvement isn’t improvement. It’s failure. Then improvement.
Failure as in not losing, but losing to your own mind, your own expectations.
I’m so sorry, T28 4×400m girls team. I lost. I gave in to this stupid thought of hers.
I could’ve strived and chase the person in front. I felt I could, but too afraid to do so.
There’s the games carnival coming right up.
No more runner up. No more just involvement.
I’m aiming for the first, the best, the top of the mountain.
Both are my teachers, also friends.
They told me, “Have more confidence in your answers/yourself”.
Am I so lacking of it? I think so.
I’m always saying I’ll just do it to pass since I can’t be the top anyway, or I know just a little bit of this, still noobish. But people tell me I’m good ( at certain things ), yet I just can’t believe in myself.
However, I don’t want myself to sound too overconfident/egoistic. Yet I want to stay humble.
Whenever I feel confident, I fail.
Is it just a mental barrier that I must overcome? That, I’m confident because I can win and be the best, and not I’m confident because I think I can do it.
I guess I must be more harsh on myself. Push myself further each time I do something. Never be complacent about anthing, be it a small mathematics sum or a small dance move.
Full out. That’s what I want. For everytime I push myself a little further, maybe just by a centimeter, a second, I improve, which is my motto of the year.
Once I’m confident doing something everytime. I will overcome it and become a more confident person.
I think.
It’s not lik I’m in SYF, but I’m in one of the items last night in school.
We had 2-3weeks to practice. It’s not up to the standard when we has rehearsals on thursday and friday afternoon.Darn, we were scared. But I swear, when we came on stage, like Gillian said, we just want to show them how much we love dance.
There wasn’t stage fright. But yet, I felt this sense of satisfaction and standing on the stage with lights on me and my cca members, it was comforting. I used to dance in the living room with my eyes closed. i wanted to imagine in front of me is this big group of audience, and I, standing in the middle of this really big stage. I just danced, for myself, and the applause the audience are to give.
Friday. It was a dream come true. This dream that I’ve been waiting since I was 14, when I started hatin sports because it didn’t bring me joy. I begged my mom to let me join dance @ oschool, studiowu. As if she would allow. But now. Look at me. After 2-3 years of waiting, I finally get to dance.
Sometimes, I think it just takes a bit of patience, determination and passion. I’m glad I didn’t give up dance.
Dance didn’t give up on me either.
That’s why. I love dance.
OMGGGG. Can’t stand it anymore. I hate it when I get tired. I seriously hate it.
)):
Been rather confused about something recently. Pfft. You don’t have to know it though. HAHA! loser.
According to my friend, cleaning up is like one of the best things in dance. -_- Not when you have 10 over people in the item. Hurhur. My knee’s injured, cos we keep doing one move, quite taxing on my knee ( old injury ). Sadded. Can’t find my knee guard somemore. GG. Hope can take the weekend to rest or something.
I want to do well in dance, but I’m still not used to being like, more open when dancing in front of people, you know like freestyle abit during transistion. I feel so inferior when everyone around me are dancers since secondary school days, and I just started like a few months ago ): It’s a very sad feeling tbh. I hope I can overcome this barrier, if not I’ll never improve myself. Hais.
My PI’s a disaster. It refuses to promote itself to a higher level, a.k.a. Exceeding Expectations. So I re-did it. Don’t know how it will go.
Rah! I’m so stressed up this week by the PI deadline and lots of homework! ))):
I should stop sounding so whiny. I’m supposed to be a tomboy yo! Tomboy don’t whine do they!
I got to be stronger. Physically, mentally, dance-lly.
I can do it. Cos I’m yeeyin.
I’m so lousy @ dance.
I’m so tired.
I feel damn lethargic.
I want to continue doing full out everytime I practice.
But I can’t. I’m too weak. Physically weak, mentally weak.
I want to dance. I really want to be good @ dance.
I want to be not just a member of dance club, but a dancer.
I want to give in my best. Listen to comments and suggestions, make full use of them to improve myself.
I just want to dance.
http://www.goldinuniverse.com/showprofile.asp?id=0/4/3/2/6/1/5/7/&name=yy
True friends tell you your flaws. But they don’t try to change what makes you you.
I have this really big cabinet at home. It’s for me to keep these bottles of feelings I’ve kept. I want to give them to someone, but I don’t know how, and when.
I miss her ):
So many things were pissing me off this week.
Forget what had happened if it’s a misunderstanding.
Anyway, Reko, I was talking about the nosebleeding part that’s dumb la. Haha. Don’t be so paranoid (:
Fuck. Another week without dance.
Pfft. Bet all (most) the J1s are damn pissed off cos we hate missing dance.
I did 60-70+ crunches yesterday and 30 pushups. I had no idea that we were to run 2.4 today. So I was running with a splint shin, sore abs and tired muscles. I ended up walking for almost a round with a very bad stitch near my ribs (Mr Lim though my ribcage got prob). And so to make up for that, I sprinted the last round, and gagged at the last 30m, tried to puke after that but can’t.Timing, 15.07. Damn disappointed. I don’t know if it’s my own body or it’s cos my mind’s being lazy again. Pfft. I’m going to train harder and get like 13 mins or smth for my next run. It’s possible cos I say so.
I kindof manage to peek at my chem score, and I think I got.. 19/30. Quite an improvement, considering that I had single digit for the first test. Haha. Yeah, always hopeless in Chemistry. I hope I saw the correct score though. Lol.
Hmm. Nothing must happened this week.
Wait, maybe there is. We had out dance formation, and it’s like starting to look better and better. It’s going to be my first performance, and I don’t know how I will really react on stage. I may not have “stage fright” during trainings now, but it’s been long since I stood on the stage. Can’t believe that what I’ve been dreaming about these few years are about to come true. *shivers* Hope I’ll do fine.
I need to have more confidence in myself, according to my classmate. Haha. I always believe that I have this limit. I’ll be better than average, but will never be the best. Maybe it’s time to kick this thinking away. It’s not worth to think this way as I grow up.
I have to be the best in everything.
The more I train/study, the better I will get. Even if it takes a few years, it doesn’t matter. Because by then, I’m sure I’ll be the best one.
Can and will do it.
Because I’m Yeeyin.
